(The Truth About Why I Hate Facebook.)

I’ve always said that Facebook is designed for two types of people.

  1. The compulsively nosy.
  2. The compulsively self-indulgent.

Then my mom got it so she could play FarmVille and pointed out a huge flaw in my theory. There are some people who use Facebook purely to play daft games.

But – ignoring my mom for a moment (sorry mom) – I still stand by the fact that for most people this website exists purely as a tool to aid cyber stalking, or as a means to create an incessant stream of compulsively self-indulgent updates on their cat/baby/holiday/food/other pointless stuff the compulsively nosy folks love to look at.

Now, before I go any further, let me get one thing straight. I’m not here to condemn either one of those things. 97% of the closest people in my life have Facebook accounts, and they’re all still pretty terrific. And in fact most of those will actually admit – and I’m SURE some of you will have also heard this one before…

“Yeah, I’m on Facebook, but I never actually post anything. I just like to be nosy.”

So, with these types of admissions freely floating around can you blame me for my whole ‘Facebook is designed for two types of people’ argument?

But I’m still seriously not trying to condemn them.

The truth is, I don’t abstain from Facebook because I’m not nosy or self indulgent (the very fact that I’m writing this on a blog prohibits me from commenting on self-indulgence. You know, glass houses and all that.) The reason I’m not on there is because I just can’t bloody handle it! Truth be told, I actually find the whole thing quite emotionally distressing.

That’s because when I did have Facebook I spent too many hours trawling through photos of people I hadn’t seen since High School, wishing they’d all be fat now. Pretty toxic, right? If I wasn’t doing that then I’d be obsessing over how much prettier/thinner/happier everyone else seemed to look, never stopping to logically contemplate that I was only really viewing the edited highlights that these people had chosen to publish. The ideal virtual version of themselves. Pretty stupid, right?

It’s an easy trap to be ensnared in though; a real alluring kind of poison that I just couldn’t stop guzzling on. At least that’s what it was for me anyway. I’m sure some most people are far more logical than I am, and therefore better equipped to take everything on Facebook with the pinch of salt that it requires, but for me it was a pass time that embedded a lot more negativity than I wanted. Thats why I made the decision to delete the lot. I always thought I’d perhaps go back to it one day, but eight years later and I’ve honestly never looked back. Sure, I’m always the last one to find out about everything, but it’s a small price to pay for my sanity.

It’s only recently that I’ve allowed myself to venture ever so slightly back into the realm of social media, by means of signing up to Twitter. I’m still not entirely convinced it’s a good idea, based on the fact that I’m practically ready to burst into tears everytime I lose a follower, but I’m at least trying not to take it to heart quite as much as the teenage version of myself did. Just don’t be too surprised if in a months time you see me here again, writing a post entitled ‘The Truth About Why I Hate Twitter.’ Just let me, you know, swallow my pride gracefully and all that.