Casual Misogyny (and the dumb bitches who are casually contributing to it.)

I know what you’re thinking.

She’s a hypocrite, she’s a hypocrite! In writing something about casual misogyny she’s actually used one of the most casually misogynistic words out there! (If you’re not thinking that then go and read this article before coming back to me, okay? Seriously – don’t come back until you’ve read it.)

So we’re all here now, and we’re all acknowleding that ‘bitch’ is inherently sexist and that by using it I’ve been a bit of hypocrite. That’s true – I have. But, like all of my words, I’ve carefully placed it there deliberately. Why? Because I wanted to make a point about how the words people use are important. Every single word has a specific definiton, and generally a sub-text that goes along with it, so they should always be chosen wisely. Not just cast out there flippantly because they’re trending.

Case in point: Resting Bitch Face. (How did this seriously even become a thing?)

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard this over the past few months, and each time it’s made my face turn with disgust just a little bit more. Not just because it’s a horrible phrase that perpetuates quite harmful gender stereotypes (althought it is – it really is!) but because of a far more tragic observation. Brace yourself for this for this one…

The people I’ve heard saying it have predominantly been women. And that’s scary. It’s really scary. 

I’m quite certain that a lot of these women haven’t said it with genuine maliciousness, it’s actually been said quite casually – with the intent to sound a little bit funny. But it’s not funny. It’s really, really not funny at all. Because, no matter how much you dress it up or dress it down, this phrase is an intended insult. And it’s one which is not only making it acceptable for women to insult other women – it’s actually making it trendy. That is so not cool.

But wait…it gets worse…

Yesterday I happened to be involved in a conversation where someone actually said the following; “she’s got a resting bitch face, but she was actually quite nice.”

Of course –  because it’s somehow the must-say phrase of the season – nobody batted an eyelid. Nobody except me, of course. I proceeded to explain (although not nearly at the lengths I could have done) that this phrase is not only insulting, it’s actually quite irksome, and what it’s doing for feminism? Well, I bet it’s making Mary Wollstonecraft turn in her grave.

How was this met? With an irritated, yet smug, eye roll followed by, “oh you’re not going off on one of those bra burning crusades again are you?”

And how was that comment met? With laughter.

So the promotion of feminism is deemed a trivial annoyance, but dumbing down feminism? Well that’s the kind of whimsical remark that deserves to be rewarded with a thunderous round of applause. And who’s clapping? Women.

Yikes.