I’ve taken showers at the gym hundreds of times. I’ve never had any strong opinion on them. They’re just a convenient place to splash purple shampoo.
Then this week happened.
And suddenly those gym showers don’t seem so neutral anymore. Now I look at them and think that they’re basically like every guy I knew when I was seventeen. A pathetic excuse of a drip. Probably riddled with bacteria. Not worth getting naked for.
The sight of them makes me angry. Seriously angry.
And it’s not just the showers. I’ve racked up a whole list of things to be angry about.
The phone rings too loudly.
The kettle boils too slowly.
There’s a ghastly car that revs in the street every morning.
I practically have hypertension from this collection of first world problems.
Seriously. Some girl had the audacity to sneeze next to me this morning and I was inches away from either bursting a blood vessel, or breaking her nose.
That is not cool. I know that.
But when something bad happens to somebody
good perfect, and there’s nobody to blame, and nothing I can do about it, it’s very easy to get a little bit cantankerous royally pissed off with the entire world, to the point where I’ll even write out an entire paragraph in one sentence because grammar can fuck right off as well.
It’s not constant. I actually go through a whole spectrum of emotions in the time it takes for the world’s slowest kettle to boil.
I’m not going to pretend that any part of that is enjoyable. It’s emotionally draining.
But when something bad happens to somebody perfect, and there’s nobody to blame, and nothing I can do about it, being emotionally drained is the very last thing that concerns me. Being rational doesn’t concern me much either.
I’m far too busy impatiently waiting to see that one perfect smile again.
So I’ll apologise in advance if I lash out, storm out, or do anything unforgivable to the kettle. I beg you won’t blame me. I’m not normally this volatile, I’m just really missing the sight of that smile.
If you’d ever seen it you’d understand.
It’s the kind of smile that is worth getting angry for.